Once upon a time in a land far far away, there was a young lad named Lionel. Lionel was a very fortunate soul: born into a wealthy family, had a plethora of friends, and was an astoundingly skilled golfer. There was one thing, however, that caused Lionel much apprehension: he was in love with an apricot. Often, when he tried to tell this to his peers, they assumed he meant he had a fondness for the delectable fruit. Therefore, he could not truly explain to anyone what he was feeling.
It started on his fifth birthday. He walked into the kitchen, where his parents were anxiously awaiting him with a heaping stack of presents. But Lionel's attention was quickly taken by something across the room: a beautiful, ripe apricot. As Lionel gazed at it from afar, he began experiencing a feeling he had never felt before. Could it be? he thought to his young self. Am I in love?
As the years progressed, Lionel's feelings only intensified. He had preseved his beloved apricot, and planned on marrying it one day. When Lionel turned eighteen, he decided the time was right: he was finally going to wed his magnificent love. He set a date and planned to elope. When he arrived at the church, he brought his bride up to the altar and asked to be married. "You fool," the preist said. "You can't marry an apricot!" Suddenly, Lionel realized he really couldn't marry the apricot. This deeply saddened him. He determined the only way to have his love, would be to eat it. So he quickly gobbled up the apricot. Unfortunately, it was very old and covered in mold, and Lionel died.
The End
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