Holy shit!

There were 159 pages of that!!! People are freaks!

Oh and WTF

http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/

Mary Lewis and Wilma Clark

Expedition 2010...coming this fall...

This wombat tryed to hurt you so.....

I Kicked its ass!!!!!!!!!!!

Clearly! Let's Stop Doing What's Expected...Teachers Need to be Entertained Too.

I think were trying to hard in school!

Fondling the Neighbor's Goat AGAIN???

Could you hold my gum and bucket while i get my cocker spaniel

Billy was on holiday in America and didn't speak very good English. It was his last day and he was heading to the airport to fly home, but first he needed to buy a few things. He ends up going to the store and asking the clerk for some "BUM". She sits there and thinks for awhile and then says, "Oh you must mean gum." Then he goes to the fish store and askes if he could get some "FUCK IT". The fish man thinks and says, "Oh I get it, you must mean Bucket (bucket of fish)" Billy shakes his head as YES. Then he makes a trip to the pet store and says, "Could I get a cock and spank it?" The pet store owner says "Oh you must mean Cocker Spaniel." Billy shakes his head YES. He finally makes it to the airport where he will be catching his flight. When he gets there he askes this guy... "Could you hold my bum and fuck it while I get my cock and spank it"

Te he

A woman walked into the welfare office, trailed by fifteen kids.
"Wow," said the social worker, "are they all yours?"
"Yes, they're all mine," the tired mother sighed, having heard that question a thousand times.
"Well," said the social worker, "you must be here to sign up. I'll need their names."
"This one is my oldest -- he's Leroy," she began.
"Okay, who's next?"
"Well, this here's Leroy, too."
The social worker raised an eyebrow, but continued.
"This is my daughter, Leroy."
The social worker interrupted, "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they all named Leroy?"
"Yep."
"Isn't that rather, uh, inconvenient?"
"Not at all. When it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' and they all come running. And if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and the kid, whoever he is, stops."
The social worker thought a moment and then asked, "But what if you just want one kid to come and not all of them?"
"Ah, that's easy, too," answered the proud mother. "Then I just call them by their last names!"

Thats fine

It just automatically moved it to the right when i changed the background and a didn't feel like takin the time to move it over. OH AND about time my butt!!!!!!!!! there was one time you took a longer break than that! I visited our blog many times but was not yet compelled to post. Thank you

About time!

Oh yeah, I forgot I had a blogging partner.
And WOWZA that's some background! Its' happiness really takes away from all of our inappropriate posts...I like.
But I moved the toolbar back to the left side, I hope that's okay.

EXACTLY

Uh-Oh

tehe

Your Mom!

missin you

Sources

My grandpa said he talked to your grandma and that yall were stuck in traffic for like four hours. that sucks pal... hope it got better.

i'm feelin a pretzel

One day there was a man named henry and he was really cool but he was in love with this girl named Ronnie and she wasn't all that cool but she had a brother who was super cool and his name was ted. his dads name was Hector but hector wasn't Ronnies dad bc their mom Reggie slept around a whole lot and she had ten different kids with ten different fathers.. except for one father whos name was Ken. She liked him the most and had two and a half kids with him. their names were Mannie Lucy and sal. Sal only got half a name because she was only half a person, she was born missing the left side of her body but shes all right now. (haha, get it) Anywho... one day Mannie met Hector and they didn't know that they were half brother and sister, so they hooked up one hot steamy night. Luckily no children resulted from this affair. They found out in the morning and Mannie ran out of the house quicker than a monkey on a light pole, but she didn't have a car because she had ridden with Hector so she called a taxi, but she realized she didn't have any money, so she put a gun to the drivers head and said put the pedal to the metal.
The End

This was across from out hotel in seattle

sigh.........

This is how i feel when you are gone

Guess What!!

LAKE TOMMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Drat

DUDE!!!! our air conditioner upstairs broke too!!!! ......... but we got it fixed so don't worry

Yo.

My first post is "drat" start there.

miss ya oodles!

Continued...

As Paige was wandering through the E.V.I.L. headquarters, admiring the view and the interesting photographs on the wall, Renee took the opportunity to sneak up behind her and taze her. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Paige was flailing on the ground, as Renee stood above her, laughing- finally the torture would begin. Suddenly, the door opened with a bang. Renee looked up, prepared to do with the intruder the same thing she had in store for Paige, and gasped when she saw who was there. "Elizabeth!" she cried in shock. "It's...it's not what it looks like, I swear!"
Elizabeth, the brilliant and beautiful mastermind behind the Emporium for Very Intelligent Lifeforms headquarters (which, was actually created as an outlet for gifted scientists to gather and share ideas, as well as promote interest in science in schools across America. E.V.I.L was just an unfortunate acronym.) glared at Renee. "What are you doing to this poor girl?" Elizabeth asked.
Renee stood, trembling, and replied, "I was just...uh...just...uh, giving her a little...a little, uh...tour! A tour of the building, Boss."
Elizabeth scoffed at Renee's excuse. "Renee," she scolded. "Give me your tazer."
Renee sighed and handed over her weapon. "Now, I know this is an equal opportunity employment facility, Renee, but I just can't have you torturing poor little girls for pleasure. That is not science. That is a sickness." And with that, Elizabeth had Renee taken away by the police. Unfortunately, as she was being escorted out of the building, she tripped on a pebble, and as she fell, hit her head on the policeman's gun, somehow managing to pull the trigger, resulting a gunshot wound to her head. She died before she made it into the cop car.
Back in the building, Elizabeth crept over to Paige, who was no longer flailing. She was tremendously worried, because the girl looked so delightful-she even had a basket of baked goods laying next to her where most girls would have a purse. Elizabeth gently shook her shoulder, and Paige sat up with a start. "Where am I?" Paige exclaimed. "What's going on? Where are my honey buns?" Elizabeth calmly told her everything that had happened. As Paige sat absorbing it all, Elizabeth had a marvelous idea.
"Paige, would you like to help us promote the Emporium for Very Intelligent Lifeforms by using your sublime baking skills to give to prospects?"
Paige, being the kind person she was, quickly accepted. Together, she and Elizabeth completely reorganized E.V.I.L (the first suggestion Paige made was to change the name to N.I.C.E -Neat Intelligent Club for Everyone) and made millions. The pair later went on to develop their own casino/hotel, a bluegrass band for the deaf, and eventually take over Poland, using Paige's charm and cupcakes and Elizabeth's quick wit and creativity. They married brothers and lived in a huge mansion with all of their children and lived happily ever after.

THE END

Continued...

The road trip was a long one, and Paige politely asked the driver to turn on some music. He obliged, fond of Paige after the delicious honey bun, and the first song to come on was the Train hit "Hey Soul Sister"
"I HATE THIS SONG!!!" Renee exclaimed, and whipped out her gun and shot the cab driver seven times in the head. She then turned to Paige, who was staring fearfully at her, and said, "Reach up and turn off the radio, and no one else gets hurt." Paige did as she was told, because she certainly did not want to cause any unnecessary trouble. Since the driver was now dead, Renee decided they needed a new plan, mainly so they would not look suspicious having a dead body in the car. She and Paige hiked to the nearest airport, and took the first flight to Seattle. Upon arriving, Renee escorted Paige to the E.V.I.L. headquarters to proceed with her "experiment". Little did Paige know, Renee planned on pulling out each hair on her head one by one, then burning off her toes with acid, sawing off her fingers, and finally allow the remainder of her body to be eaten by a family of ferocious crocodiles, simply because Renee liked to torture nice people.

TO BE CONTINUED

A story pour tu!

Once upon a time there was a wonderful girl named Paige. Paige was incredibly nice; everyone liked her because she was so genuinely kind. One day, Paige was baking muffins to feed to the homeless. She did this quite often because she was such a kind soul. As she was in her kitchen, humming along to delightful tunes from the classic film and 1965 Academy Award winner The Sound of Music, the doorbell rang. Paige strolled to the door to find a rather unpleasant looking creature. It appeared to be a girl, a rather short girl, who was incredibly obese and had very greasy hair-so greasy that whenever she went in public, people stared because it looked so awful. Paige, however, being the doting, friendly person she was, did not notice these telltale signs of evil, and invited the girl inside.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" Paige asked the girl after providing her with a cup of tea.
"Why, yes...yes there is,"the girl said with an evil grin. "I'm Renee, and I'm a...scientist. I was hoping you would do me the honor in helping me with an experiment."
"Oh, certainly!" Paige exclaimed. "I love helping people!" With that, Renee let out a horrible sounding cackle and grabbed Paige's wrist with her grubby fingers.
"Well then we're off to Seattle where the Emporium of Very Intelligent Lifeforms is located,"Renee told her. They went outside, where Renee halted a taxi. She pulled out a gun and told the driver to put the pedal to the metal. Paige gasped.
"Oh, no!!! Buns, not guns!" and she instead offered the cab driver a freshly baked honey bun. He graciously accepted and they were off.

TO BE CONTINUED

Big Ass-Fish!

I went fishing while you were away. Turns out I'm a pretty kick-ass fisher!

You Know...

A guy gets the mail and there is a large package addressed to him. He is sitting on the couch opening mail when his roommate arrives home. Noticing the box in his roommate's lap, he says, "Wow man. That's a big package you've got!"

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!

Lionel and the Apricot

Once upon a time in a land far far away, there was a young lad named Lionel. Lionel was a very fortunate soul: born into a wealthy family, had a plethora of friends, and was an astoundingly skilled golfer. There was one thing, however, that caused Lionel much apprehension: he was in love with an apricot. Often, when he tried to tell this to his peers, they assumed he meant he had a fondness for the delectable fruit. Therefore, he could not truly explain to anyone what he was feeling.
It started on his fifth birthday. He walked into the kitchen, where his parents were anxiously awaiting him with a heaping stack of presents. But Lionel's attention was quickly taken by something across the room: a beautiful, ripe apricot. As Lionel gazed at it from afar, he began experiencing a feeling he had never felt before. Could it be? he thought to his young self. Am I in love?
As the years progressed, Lionel's feelings only intensified. He had preseved his beloved apricot, and planned on marrying it one day. When Lionel turned eighteen, he decided the time was right: he was finally going to wed his magnificent love. He set a date and planned to elope. When he arrived at the church, he brought his bride up to the altar and asked to be married. "You fool," the preist said. "You can't marry an apricot!" Suddenly, Lionel realized he really couldn't marry the apricot. This deeply saddened him. He determined the only way to have his love, would be to eat it. So he quickly gobbled up the apricot. Unfortunately, it was very old and covered in mold, and Lionel died.

The End

drat

our air conditioner is broken. FML

farewell

lots of funny blog posts would be greatly appreciated pal!!! please don't forget me while i'm gone

lots of love
comrad